My journey in my faith has been growing slowly since listening to the bible a day and daily prayer pod casts, I started listening to them at the end of January and dedicated time each day to listen and be still, to write down my prayer requests and ponder on his word.
It’s been a long time since September not being at work, and now starting a new job which I still can’t be at. So I think why is this happening to me, is there something I need to learn on this journey , I can’t quite believe I’m being paid to sit at home yet again!
So I’ve been thinking what have I learnt whilst in lock down, what have I loved.
I have loved the stillness in the air the quiet no cars or buses, I have sat and listened to the birds singing songs which I wouldn’t have heard without the bustling of normal day life. nature coming into its own being bold and coming onto city’s and towns, we watched two buzzards circling over our house high up in the sky I’ve never seen that before. A big fat robin nesting in our bush coming in and out to gather things for his nest.
The amazing sunsets of rainbow colours of pinks blues and oranges, and the starts even seam to be shining brighter in the evening sky. No aeroplanes humming overhead and leaving smoke trails. The sky’s have been beautiful. He created the heavens and earth and I look for god in all theses things and feel his presence. Neighbours are helping each other out , being generous in helping us with food shops whilst in isolation, looking out for each other, making me a crochet rainbow to hang in my window, I feel a sense of solidarity, whilst rob dresses up a giant Father Christmas everyday to cheer people up, creating community spirit, and I set up he rainbow Facebook page to send out love And hope. I walk the dog and I count 48 rainbows in peoples windows all that joy and love gone into creating something so beautiful on show a true sense of we are all in the is together this brings me joy and I see God in every Rainbow.
The church meets on a Sunday morning at home live on a group meeting page and it’s not the same but it’s just as good and the ability to dip into other services in other places is also a great thing, god has never been so freely available. I’m also part of a lady’s church group where we also meet live on a group chat and pray for each other and give testimony of what’s god done for us in the week, this has been very humbling to be able to pray for others in need over the iPad. I feel this time of lockdown has drawn me closer to god in all of these ways, my life feels more relaxed less stressed and positive even in the midst of this crisis. There is no pressure of working getting home cooking a meal tending to Tom and Rob there is no pressure to cook time seams to have lapsed and we are moving more freely not being tied to a schedule.
I’ve had time to get things in order clear out the cluttered drawers and decorate the hallway, I’ve had time to paint , create and make things on my own and with Thomas. There is no outside influences to make me spend my money, it’s being spent on food and bills and the essential things i need. I spend every day with my son a little home schooling and helping him to develop is encouraging. Being at home with Rob in our own space with no problems just being is awesome. God is in everything I do, all these positives these affirmations of love. I’ve sang worship songs on the top of the hill in full voice I didn’t care if anyone could hear! I prayed for my city and Twerton with my hands held high in the sky, I’ve prayed over the Ruh and nurses and doctors. Prayed for all of my family and friends. I have listened and heard many verses speak to me such as do not worry about tomorrow, and such like verses. I have told others of how gods moved me and inspired others with my honesty. And the craziest of things my old work college rang me asking me to pray for her boyfriend who was very ill and needed protection from covid, and how both of my colleges felt that I was ok because I had god on my side ! They knew that when I prayed at work about situations they always came good ! We used to joke about it, I didn’t realise they took it so seriously. Thing is Gods isn’t just just for me I told her, you can have him too. It’s not inclusive to me.
Maybe it’s because I have looked for god in the everyday things, maybe he’s just spoke to me and made me see. But I know that God is in control and once you’ve given up and let him take the lead things really do start to happen. I feel more connected to the earth the air the universe, what I have learnt is to be childlike in your thinking, be a child of god with childlike qualities , be yourself ware fancy dress on a Friday because it makes you feel silly and happy. Be creative, sing and praise the heavens and earth in all of its glory. Be at one with nature, enjoy the quietness and listen to the birds singing for they have no worries. And most of all seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened, ask and it shall be done.
I’m enjoying lockdown I like this life the way it flows, I would really like to live in the country so that I can hear the birds, I have learnt I don’t like noise, I like stillness I like being with myself.