Indoor life

It’s tough indoor life! We are Not Allowed out only for an hours exercise daily, home schooling has now become a thing ! And I’m desperate to just go out shopping !

It’s extremely hard for everyone don’t get me wrong I’m having my fair share of grumpiness . Home schooling is a new challenge and it’s now become a thing ! We are all doing it, the pressure to maintain your child’s routine to get up in the morning to do some actual schooling work. This has been a challenge not just for me but for my 7 year old who’s mum has just become his teacher along with everything I do !! Day one was a treat he seamed to enjoy it, obviously it’s a novelty in the beginning, I have this compelling pressure to make sure my son maintains his math and English reading and writing. I haven’t a clue what I am doing lucky the teachers have sent daily guidelines to follow, this has helped some what ! Getting my son to sit still and do some work is another thing. As I said the beginning of the week was fun I was so impressed that Thomas was interacting with me and doing as I asked, but by Wednesday he had started to go off the boil and the threat of loosing his xbox becomes move evident as the days past. I might as well throw in the towel by Friday, he wasn’t having any of it and the keen eyed boy now looks like a monster !

Every morning we joined in with the live YouTube channel PE with Joe Wicks at 9am, unfortunately I was enjoying it far more then Thomas and as the days pass By Friday I am the only one doing the fitness classes and I wonder why haven’t I done this before. Thomas just sits there on the sofa watching me squat! we sit down at the table straight after to start maths. Followed by a 15 min brake then English I’ve asked Thomas to write a daily diary I thought this would help with hand writing , spelling and sentences. And id like him to keep this book as a reminder of how he felt and what he was doing when covid -19 was in town. By lunchtime he’s has had enough and so we have lunch. In the afternoons we play football or take the dog down the park and play football. I am very wary of others and if someone starts walking near I drag the dog and Thomas off home, it’s so Alien to avoid people to cross the road and take a wide birth knowingly that you are trying to avoid them, it’s not a natural feeling. At the beginning of the week we ventured out to Argos and M&S. I ordered a new football net online bought and paid for so I wouldn’t have to go near anyone, I ware a face mask and gloves , I leave Thomas in the car I feel it’s much safer, then I come out take off the gloves and use a clinell hand wipe with germ killing antibacterial function, I had a box in the boot of my car from district nursing so that’s come in handy. we then went to the shop we needed Provision’s milk and bread, we both put on masks and gloves, honestly taking a child to the supermarket is a nightmare ! They just jump about and touch everything I had to tell him to stop. Unfortunately he’s only young and doesn’t quite understand what the hell is going on, to be honest nether do I. An old chap rushes past us with a scarf wrapped high over his nose, and some goods fly out of his basket Thomas instantly picks it up and shouts out to the man excuse me you’ve dropped something the man shuffles off fast and ignores Thomas and the look on his face was priceless. He couldn’t believe it he said how rude I was only trying to help, try explaining that to a 7 year old that was hard. I take my own shopping bags and fill those with my shopping so that I don’t have to use a basket, we get to the self service tills and I realise I have to use the touch screen, the nursing gloves work, and I have Apple Pay so I don’t have to get my card out and type in numbers ! We leave in a hurry and then de glove and use the Hand wipes. It’s the last day that Mc Donald’s is open it looked quiet to be honest and Thomas says can we get one in the drive through! God no how do we know if the people cooking it are well! We get home and it feel as if I have climbed a mountain. We wash are hands as soon as we get in, and I unpack the goal without touching the equipment inside the box, unload it onto the grass and then wash my hands again after the box is secured in the recycling bag.

My hands are rough and raw and beginning to feel like sandpaper! No amount of hand cream is going to fix this. The days pass and we only go to the park once a day. Thursday evening filled our life’s with hope in humanity at 8pm everyone came out into their gardens or out of their windows to clap and cheer for the NHS staff, wow that was an Experience , I felt overwhelmed with love the whole street was whooping and clapping I could hear the city come alive and it was an awesome wholesome feeling of togetherness, I could hear the banging vibrations of fireworks in the distance what an atmosphere. I felt happy to be part the nhs even though I haven’t worked for 6 months, I am still a nurse after all and I felt pride and honoured my friends and collages over the county who are out serving people.

On Friday night I had a horrid nightmare I woke and I was dying, I was so panicked that I thought it was real I woke screaming. My heart was beating so fast and afterwards I felt sick for about an hour, when I woke on sat morning I had that weird head when you don’t feel right kinda out of place out of kilter. I start to worry about what day did we do to the shop ! I have to count 7 days following this to see if I’m ok! Even thought Rob is out working still going into peoples homes he hasn’t got a clue if they have it or not ? He is very careful but still that’s a worry, what if he gets it and gives it to us. We have discussed what we will do if one of us gets it, we will quarantine ourself in Thomas bedroom and Thomas will sleep with the parent. My mind just races all day about the logistics of how that will happen! What about bathing and showering. My mind is a wash with it all.

My family have family tea every Tuesday at my parents home, time for us all to come together and be present touch base and feel grounded, this week we had family zoom conference call, which was lovely to see everyone’s faces yet hard because we can’t meet in person, the only time we miss a Tuesday is if we are on holiday, it’s become part of our being a ritual a routine, that was very hard to say Goodbye without a hug and a kiss. I miss my step daughter and I’m missing out on what’s going on in her life as big things are happening for her and I feel I can’t console or be that hug she may need. I actually cried on the phone when she told me she had her first baby scan appointment next week and that no one is allowed to go with her, that broke my heart the momentous moment in a woman’s life, the moment that you see your baby for the first time and she has to do this alone. What if something’s wrong and she has to deal with that alone. She isn’t even allowed in the building has to be called from outside then to return to her car and wait to be seen by the doctor. Obviously Tyler will be with her in the car but still, I feel robbed of that experience for her.

The weather is glorious and the sun is shining this Lifts your spirits but then I feel down as it’s times like these when you want to be outside having picnics or going to the beach but that is not allowed. It leaves a bitter sweet taste in your mouth, I am thankful that I have a big garden and we can play football or I can sit in the sun as I know many others will be struggling with homes without outdoor space. I have dedicated myself to listen to the bible a day and daily prayer podcasts that fill me with hope and gods love, and the message this week being do not worry, now god that’s pretty difficult when everything you have ever known has changed or is changing and living in fear has now actually become a reality. I ponder on this and I do take comfort from it. I started the couch to 5k again this week god only knows why now !! I’ve had 6 months of work and not once did I feel like getting fit, and now Thomas is off school and bang the bug is back, now make of that what you will, maybe the fact I can’t go out so I want to do it more ! Same as shopping I am desperate to just look at clothes in Sainsbury’s! As all of the non Essential shops are now closed I really fancied a trip to primarny and I wonder what consequences this is having on them. I’ve bought some things from eBay instead but then with the postal service being effected who knows when things will be delivered. Maybe I will have a nice surprise. A week ago I started up the chase the rainbow Bath Facebook page and by the end of the week I have 920 people joined. I aim to share love and hope across the city, everyday I post something of mine that has a rainbow on it ! Honestly I didn’t know how addicted to rainbows I am until now! I have shoes, jumpers,pjs, plates, ornaments and jewellery and hair bands note books and pens the list goes on! I really feel this was my calling to share this joy to my city of Bath. I am loving the picture people are posting and it brings colour into your life. After this is done and gone I think I might startup a rainbow workshop or something. Anyway the week is nearing the end and the clocks went forward and a new week is dawning. Spring has now sprung and I hope I manage to survive another week of home schooling to be honest I love spending time with my son and I do cherish these times as one day he will be a grumpy teenager and eventually become a man and I won’t be needed. So love this moment make the most of it.

The new selfie
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